Being
not an optimist
I
am resigned to the fact
I
shall not acquire the wealth I desire
I
thirst for a peculiar, infinite type of wealth.
I’ll never keep it in a bank
Or
watch it surge on the big board.
Philanthropy
won’t be its role,
I
mean to share it all with you.
I
want it plentiful as rain
Which
overflows the riverbank
Abundant
light in cloudless sky
The
nonmaterial, ethereal I want.
I
speak of love.
An
infinite, measureless love
Harmonious
with spirit and with flesh
A
love of quiet reason, warm-hearted laughter
Whose
flaws are light
As
dust upon a cloudless crystal
-Weightless
dust caressed away by breeze-
It’s
rare such a love, but I will bargain:
Call
to the stars, they gaze upon infinity
As
it travels by-
Send
him to me I’ll ask,
The
stars have seen his sails and know his name.
I’ll
bargain in the cruelest way I know:
A
glimpse. Bittering forces stars to
listen
Let
it last a month, a season, such a love
I’ll
take it for a full year if I can,
A
full year sounds very nice
And
if then it must end, I’ll let go
I
promise to be brave.
I
will be brave
In
defeat, brave in the severing.
I’ve
known braveness in anger:
In
their fortune,
How
others squandered years of time
With
you-
Why?
Live
without discovery, not giving.
You. Oh!
Perhaps
one day…
Sharing
even briefly a handful of infinity
And
if not, I will dream:
I
am awake in this dream
And
I have fantasized of everything,
Even
the necessity for tangible wealth,
Always
an annoying detail
To
pester romantic hearts.
I
wager, for the tangible
Small,
finite digits will suffice:
I
have
Enough
to buy us freshly baked loaves
Imported
cheese and olives,
Enough
to build a hearth from weathered fieldstone
And
dress our bed with perfumed sheets, soft and smooth.
We’ll
need sandalwood scented soap,
Pencil,
pen, and paper,
A
computer if we must.
We’ll
get seeds for our garden
And
splurge on a few hybrid perennials.
Candles
also. To light away the dusk.
That
should do it for necessities.
The
luxuries we will invoke together
As
we embrace in the dark.
You’ll
blow out the candles, smiling, one by one,
Together
we will conjure a different fire
Its
flames of inextinguishable desire
Fueled
by a wealth
Of
love.